Thar She Blows!

Explosive defecation must be going around. For those of you who haven't read this post at No Ma'am This IS My Job, I suggest you do. It's not for anyone with a weak stomach, nor is it for anyone even thinking about having children (it's enough to make you think twice about going through with it), but it is one of the funniest things I've read in a while. My wife and I were in tears.

Well, God decided to have a little fun with me today. I guess he felt that I shouldn't be laughing at other people's misfortune.

I get through feeding Grace when I notice that distinctive odor that lets me know that it's time for a diaper change. Grace has normally pooped 2 or 3 times by this point in the day, but on this day, it was her first. I should have knows it was going to be something special. Anyway..., I pick her up and carry her upstairs on my right hip. I get to the changing table and I need to grab the wipes, so I do a quick switch over to my left hip. Suddenly, I feel something warm oozing down my arm and almost simultaneously I'm hit with the most awful smell. I know immediately what it is. Poop. Poop running down my arm. Poop all over the back of my daughter's shirt. Poop on the floor.

The amazing thing was this.., once I started cleaning her up, I noticed that there was nothing in or on her pants. Not one drop. This leads me to believe that when I did the hip-switch, the poop shot out the top of her diaper like a fountain - a fecal "Old Faithful" if you will.

Jeff..., I promise to never laugh at you again.